


Astute Observations

by thewolfatyourdoor



Category: Royal Pains
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6918220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewolfatyourdoor/pseuds/thewolfatyourdoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Oh my god,” Evan repeated.  “Hank, I think I’m having a heart attack.  Or an aneurysm.  Or going into shock.  This is at least shock, isn’t it?!”</i> </p>
<p>Evan makes an unexpected discovery about his brother's lovelife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Astute Observations

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet was sparked by reading a House fic that mentioned beard burn. I'm pretty sure it was also inspired, in some nebulous way, by [What's got you nervous](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6564844) (TwirlsWrites), even though there's no struggle with or even discussion of sexuality in my fic. ^_^; 
> 
> If you're a fan of Boris (or of Boris/Hank), I invite you to check out my tumblr @[borisofroyalpains](http://borisofroyalpains.tumblr.com/) for pictures, meta, and flailing.

 

 

 

 

  
Evan swept into the guesthouse, intent on raiding the fridge.  He passed Hank on the couch and snorted in amusement.  His brother looked like he had a bad case of razor burn.

 

“Jeez, what mauled your face?”

 

It was meant to be an offhand remark, and it would have been – if Hank hadn’t turned red.

 

As siblings do, Evan honed in on this sign of embarrassment like a shark scenting blood.  He leaned over the back of the couch.  “Okay, what happened to – _Henry_.  Is that a hickey?!”

 

Hank’s blush intensified but he tilted his chin up defiantly – which only made the mark (no, _marks_ ) on his neck more obvious.  “Why are you even here?” he asked, sounding exasperated.

 

“Oh no no, don’t try to change the –”  A flash of color caught Evan’s eye.  There was a tie, sky blue with some floral pattern, crumpled on the couch.  “Hank.  That’s a tie.  You don’t wear ties.”

 

“An astute observation, Mr. Lawson.”

 

And Evan absolutely did not yelp or squeak or make any other embarrassing sound, but he might have jumped a little when he turned around because speaking of sharks…

 

“Boris,” Hank said, chiding, as he stood up.

 

“Evan,” Boris corrected himself.

 

Evan might have found this exchange more interesting, but he was almost too preoccupied to register the use of his first name.  Boris wasn’t wearing his ever-present suit jacket.  The top two buttons of his shirt were undone.  He didn’t exactly look disheveled, but he definitely didn’t seem as put-together as he usually did.

 

“Oh my god.”  Realization came crashing down, and Evan pointed an accusing finger at Boris.  “ _You_ wear ties!”

 

Boris’s eyes flicked briefly toward the ceiling.  “Another astute observation.  Evan.”  He stepped around to the front of the couch and picked up the tie, winding it unhurriedly around one hand.

 

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Evan repeated.  “Hank, I think I’m having a heart attack.  Or an aneurysm.  Or going into shock.  This is at least shock, isn’t it?!”

 

“Sit down and put your head between your knees,” Hank suggested, and Evan knew that tone, that was the Evan-is-overreacting-again tone, but he decided this was good advice anyway and stumbled over to one of the armchairs.

 

“How long has this been going on?” he asked the floor accusingly.

 

“Well, it’s been about – oh wait, right, that’s none of your business.”

 

“Come on, Henry, this is serious!  I’m your brother, you’re supposed to tell me about –”  Another sudden realization had Evan jerking upright in his chair, eyes wide.  “Oh my god, does this mean I’m going to be part of the crazy murder family?!”

 

“Evan!”  Hank threw his hands up in pure exasperation.

 

“Well, Mr. Lawson,” Boris said over him, “I’m sure neither of us will be particularly thrilled with our in-laws.”

 

That distracted Hank from his flailing.  “Hang on, are you planning to get married?”

 

Boris went very still.  Evan barely breathed, glancing between him and Hank.  “Well,” said Boris at last.  “Not today, certainly.”

 

“…Did you just propose?” Hank asked faintly.

 

“Hank. When I propose, you will know.”

 

Hank stared at him, a bit wide-eyed, and the way Boris was looking at Hank…  Evan decided he had never really appreciated the ceiling of the guesthouse before and studied it intently.  “So, this really isn’t some kind of joke or something.”

 

“Certainly not,” Boris said flatly, breaking his intense focus on Hank.  (Evan decided he’d studied the ceiling enough.)

 

“Evan!”  Hank ran his hands through his hair.  “See, this is why I didn’t tell you right away.  If you’re just going to –”

 

“Woah, no!  I’m going to be the same supportive brother I always am, I swear.  I just – It was a surprise, okay, that’s all,” Evan insisted.  Both Hank and Boris seemed slightly mollified by this.  “Actually, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes.  In a very bizarre way.”

 

Hank held up a hand, looking pained.  “Don’t think about it.”

 

“ _Please_ ,” Boris added.

 

“Okay, fine.”  Evan stood up.  “I’ll, uh, just be on my way now, and you guys can get back to your, uh –”  He winced at the warning glares from both men.  “Right, not thinking about it.  But Hank, you still owe me a talk later.”

 

“Much later.  Like never.”

 

Ignoring him, Evan walked over to Boris and took a deep breath.  “Boris.  You are probably the most terrifying person I’ve ever met and I still think you might be involved with the mafia or something, but – welcome to the family.”  And, gathering his courage, Evan leaned in and wrapped his arms around Boris.  He felt, more than heard, the other man sigh, and then Boris patted his back.

 

“Ja, thank you, Evan.”

 

Evan gave him a squeeze, figuring that as long as Boris was involved with Hank, he probably wouldn’t have Evan disappeared.  “Also,” he added quietly, “if you break my brother’s heart, I will come after you.”

 

Boris patted him again.  “I would be disappointed if you did not.”

 

Evan stepped back.  “Okay.  I’m going to go somewhere that’s not here for a while.”  He started for the door, pointing back at Hank.  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

 

“ _Goodbye_ , Evan!”

 

Evan shut the guesthouse door behind him and paused for a moment.  He could just barely make out the sound of their voices – and then a low rumble of a laugh from Boris.  Evan winced and continued on his way, doing his best not to think about anything.  He’d already learned more than enough about his brother’s love life for one day.


End file.
